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Whitehall Robbins Labs Division
May 1, 2014 @ 1:45 am - 4:45 am
Man, or at least criminal man, has lost all enterprise and originality. As to my own little practice, it seems to be degenerating into an agency for recovering lost lead pencils and giving advice to young ladies from boarding-schools. My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don’t know. Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention? To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. The dog did nothing in the night-time. That was the curious incident Education never ends, Watson. It is a series of lessons, with the greatest for the last. Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. ‘Watson’ he says, ‘look up in the sky and tell me what you see.’ ‘I see millions of stars, Holmes,’ says Watson. ‘And what do you conclude from that, Watson?’ Watson thinks for a moment. ‘Well,’ he says, ‘astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meterologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and we are small and insignificant. Uh, what does it tell you, Holmes?’ ‘Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!’ Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius. Elementary, my dear Watson. You see, but you do not observe. The distinction is clear. Come, Watson, come! The game is afoot. Not a word! Into your clothes and come! I have always held, too, that pistol practice should be distinctly an open-air pastime; and when Holmes, in one of his queer humours, would sit in an armchair with his hair-trigger and a hundred Boxer cartridges and proceed to adorn the opposite wall with a patriotic V.R. done in bullet pocks, I felt strongly that neither the atmosphere nor the appearance of our room was improved by it.
Man walks down the street in a hat like that, you know he’s not afraid of anything. Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon. Mercy is the mark of a great man. Guess I’m just a good man. Well, I’m all right. Course you couldn’t buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple. Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! Yes sir, Captain Tightpants!
Let’s go be bad guys! Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that. Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature. Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon. Mercy is the mark of a great man. Guess I’m just a good man. Well, I’m all right. You’re welcome on my boat. God ain’t. I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.