The Adventures of Bob and Todd by Patscorpio

Disclaimer – This is a harmless parody that is not meant to be taken seriously.  It does not reflect the true thoughts of Ring Gang Radio, who respects and admires the accomplishments of all major players in the boxing world.

Intro – “Founder Bob” and “President Todd” are trying to stage a fight between WBO Super Featherweight Champion Jamel Herring and Interim champion Shakur Stevenson but find themselves running into some problems.

Bob – Gotdammit!!!

Todd – What is it Sir?

Bob – Fucking MSG!!!! They won’t host Herring vs Tupac.

Todd – Tupac?

Bob – That Olympic kid from Jersey…Shakur, is it?

Todd – You mean Shakur Stevenson.

Bob – Tupac…. Shakur. Whatever…. I can’t book him at MSG.  They say he needs to fight someone that has a chance of beating of him.  Someone that can knock him out.

Todd – Well Jamel Herring did KO Carl Frampton earlier this year.

Bob – Yeah?!! and I knocked out Jimmy Brown on the set of “Dirty Dozen” in 66.  That’s why he retired from football you know.

Todd – What?

Bob – You’re not the only one that can say outlandish things Todd.  Anyways cut the bullshit.  What’s a place that has a big population of Neg….err…Bla…err…. African Americans?

Todd – I don’t know sir.  I would have thought that both men coming from the tri state area we can look elsewhere.

Bob – *mimicking* We can look elsewhere.  You’re useless Todd!!!  Wait I know a place!!!!

Todd – Where?

Bob – What’s that city that Ali fought in? The first fight from exile where he faced that bleeding mick Quarry?

Todd – Atlanta?

Bob – Yes!!!! Atlanta!!!! That was a fun city.  They were all out with their loud clothes and big puffy fros and foxy mamas.  I had my first piece of brown sugar there if you know what I mean?

Todd – Yes sir

Bob – Contact the guys at the stadiums where the Falcons and Hawks play.  See if they have open dates available.  Tell them we are delivering champions…not like they know anything about that.

Bob and Todd both laugh – “HAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Bob – After that I need you to call Paco and tell him to call off the purse bid.  If I don’t, Don King might try to take this fight from me.

Todd – Mr. King is irrelevant sir.  He has no fighters.

Bob – You’re gotdamn right he’s irrelevant!! But I need that bid called off.

Todd – Yes sir

Bob – and tell him he reaaaallllllly owes me for this staging this fight.

Todd – What does he owe?

Bob – The WBO Middleweight Title. I want it.

Todd – The WBO Middleweight Title?

Bob – Is there an echo in here? Yes, the fucking belt.  I signed Ali’s grandkid to Top Rank.  Tell you the truth I’ve never seen him fight but he’s an Ali.  I want to make him a champion within his first 5 fights.

Todd – Sir we could just get the belt off Murata?

Bob – Todd do I own the fucking WBA?  Plus, if I job him his people might release more Covid to our country.

Todd – He’s Japanese not Chinese.

Bob – THEY ARE ALL THE SAME TO ME!!! Just tell Paco I want that belt back. He knows what to do.  That smug English toffee Hearn isn’t doing anything with that Rhode Island kid Andrade anyways.  I bet you I will find him some opponents.

Todd – Yes sir

Bob – Good……. what was I just talking about?

Todd – *sigh*